In three of the hell areas your opponent is likely to character assassinate you and bait you. It really hurts and you will have every right to feel angry about it.
What you do with that anger will make the biggest difference to turning the situation around. During my hell situations I experienced a lot of anger. This is what I learned:
- There is no shame in feeling angry
- Anger is a valid, powerful and essential emotion
- To deny anger its place is a big mistake
- Anger is pure energy, neither good or bad, right or wrong
- Anger can be a great ally
- Anger always carries with it an important message
- Anger energy can be a huge motivator
- Anger sharpens the mind to fuel positive results
The opposite use of anger is best expressed by Yoda in Star Wars
“Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering.”
When we experience anger, it can be hard to pinpoint what triggered it in the first place. More often than not it will be down to one of these 4 triggers:
- Frustrated wants
Out of these triggers ‘Frustrated wants’ needs some contextualising. Think of a toddler in a shop, she gets told to put the chocolate back and has a melt down due to her frustrating wants. This is also well expressed in the Buddhist saying
‘Desire is the cause of all suffering’
Your opponent is likely to make damaging remarks to your credibility and reputation. It is part of human nature to want to defend ourselves. Typically when we react, we let off steam and it may feel good.
With the situation you are going through, it is also the biggest trap. They will use your reactions against you. See your opponent’s behaviour for the game playing that it is. Apply self-discipline and don’t bite.
Anger needs to be channelled toward your objectives. If not it can have terrible knock-on impact for those closest to you in the form of:
- Assault on others
Physiological impact on your body
Anger activates the fight, flight or freeze (Sympathetic Nervous System). The adrenal glands flood the body with hormones:
- Epinephrine and
Long term impacts of an over-activated Sympathetic Nervous System are dire:
- Hyperglycemia (high blood glucose levels), can lead to type 2 diabetes mellitus
- Hypertension (high blood pressure), can lead to cardiovascular and kidney disease
- Obesity, metabolic syndrome, bowel disease, anxiety and depression.
Long term impacts occur outside our conscious awareness. Early warning symptoms:
- Breathing is faster and shallow
- Heart palpitations, faster heart rate
- Blood pressure increases
- Hot Flushes, Sweating
- Panic attacks
- Chronic stress
- Teeth grinding
- Frequent headaches and or migraines
Panic and fear makes it harder to think rationally, function well or sleep better. Excess cortisol also packs on weight.
People with existing health conditions pay particular attention, early intervention could save your life.
The key message is to resolve the conflict as quickly as possible and get on with your life. Entrenched battling is deleterious to the mind, spirit and body.